Episode 7: The Grief of Losing Him Twice: My Brother Went Missing for Two Years — And Died by Suicide

The Grief of Losing Him Twice: My Brother Went Missing for Two Years — And Died by Suicide

with Marley and Counsellor Andrea

Trigger Warning:
This episode contains open discussions around suicide, suicidal thoughts, schizophrenia, panic attacks, anxiety, and grief. Please listen with care. If you or someone you know is struggling, support is available. 🤎

What does grief look like when you lose someone twice — first to mental illness, and then to suicide?

In one of the heaviest and most emotional episodes of this series, Marley, originally from Portugal, based in London, shares the heartbreaking story of her brother — a young man who battled schizophrenia, went missing for two years, and was later found to have died by suicide in a forest. It’s a story of loss, trauma, and the painful uncertainty of waiting and hoping — only to face the worst possible outcome.

This episode isn’t just about loss. It’s also about the signs we often miss, the words we sometimes dismiss, and the regret that follows. I open up about my own experience of not recognising when a friend was crying out for help — a friend who later attempted suicide. At the time, mental health wasn’t something many of us knew how to talk about. But this conversation is a reminder of why we must learn to listen better.

Alongside Counsellor Andrea, we talk through:

• The warning signs of suicidal thoughts
• How to really pay attention when someone says they’re not okay
• Panic attacks, anxiety, and how they show up in grief and trauma
• Why suicide grief feels so complex, lonely, and hard to speak about
• How to support someone through suicidal ideation — even when it’s hard to hear

I’ll be honest — as the conversation unfolded, there were moments I couldn’t hold it together. Watching Marley physically shake as she shared her story, I found myself lost for words. At one point, I had to turn to Andrea and ask her to help guide the conversation. That’s how heavy this was.

But this is exactly why these stories need to be told. Because silence only adds to the pain.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for support. You are not alone. 🤎

Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
Below are various services and organisations that offer help and support to people experiencing mental health challenges:

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎